Is it too early to drink?

I got to work a little after seven this morning since I couldn't sleep. On my walk to the Quickie Mart I yelled at the driver of a car in McFatass's drive through, a police officer who left his car running at a gas pump and a begging-ass retard on the corner who was yelling at (trying to scare people into giving him money)anyone on the corner. "You're lips move faster than your feet. You'll get no money from me."

Halefuckinlujia

19 Days until I can get me some Taco Bell or Q-doba. I love you, Jesus, but damn I want a chili-cheese burrito.

Oh, sweet irony!

I don't know if someone was filming this, but as I drove up second street on my way back to the office, I looked over and saw this little girl about three years old playing in the front yard...of the Planned Parenthood clinic. She seemed so happy, running around and laughing to herself. I wonder if mommy told her that she wasn't getting a little brother after all.

All I could think after I saw her was:
"WE GOT A SURVIVOR!"

I don't think we're going to be printing your book

One of our staffers here took a phone call from someone who wanted "to get his stuff printed in a book."
As she told the story:
her- Andy's not in right now, but he should be back in about 15-20 minutes. Let me get your number for him to call you back.
him- I'm on a pay phone, so just put me on hold.
her- I can't do that. We only have one line and that would tie it up.
him- Why not? I can only be on for ten minutes on the pay phone. I'll wait for him. Hey, if he can talk in 15 minutes, why can't I talk to him now?
her- he's at our other location. He's not physically in the office.
him- well, I'm on a pay phone, so he can't call me back. I'll call him. *slam*

After I got in and waited another 25 minutes, he never called back. Kinda glad, actually.
It's almost as glad as that lady who sang her idea for a book "for the community."
Takes all types I guess.