I don't really have too much time to post right now, but I didn't want to leave everyone hanging, so here are two jokes that I heard today:
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
About half-way.
Do you know the only part of the vegetable you can't eat?
The wheelchair.
Nov 28, 2007
Nov 20, 2007
Cheers!
I will be leaving tomorrow for the land of Px (just to the right of Oz) for T-giving, so there will be no posts for a while.
I have a terrific story that can't be told. It has it all: greed, politics, backstabbing, overprivilaged feeling underserved, and one man trying to defend himself against irrationality and small-mindedness.
later
KA I
I have a terrific story that can't be told. It has it all: greed, politics, backstabbing, overprivilaged feeling underserved, and one man trying to defend himself against irrationality and small-mindedness.
later
KA I
Nov 14, 2007
A greek doctor? That ain't his flashlight!
There really hasn't been a whole lot going on. Since I'm not dating, married, or have kids, I live a rather peaceful life. So for all my adoring fan, Some scraps:
Last night my brother Darryl came over and we had some beers in front of the fire. While solving some of the world's problems, the conversation somehow turned toward the Greeks. "Fuck 'em," I said," Bunch of toga-wearing dick-pullers anyhow."
Today I went to one of the departments here at work and was talking to a guy who does acting on the side, and who showed me some of the dance moves the cast will be doing. This particular part involved him moving side to side, alternately jutting his left and right legs out in a motion that could be used to demonstrate the proper technique for fending off an amorous dog. You have to remember through all of this that this gentleman is not in any way svelte. His hair sweats when he moves quickly, and his earlobes have cholesterol problems. Well, after several of these "steps" he would lift his knee about half-way up his thigh. Then several more back and forth attempts at trying to be the fitness instructor at a bowling alley, then another knee lift.
"Looks like he's trying to fart," I said.
He and the two ladies in his department laughed so hard they were crying. MC-Slomo about fell over, but made it to his chair.
On the way back to my office, my brain started to wander, since we all know driving does nothing for me, and thinking about laughing at that dude dancing started my brain to play bumper-cars. In order:
Damn that was funny. If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't do stupid stuff.
If you don't like the name greasball guinny wop dago goombah, you probably shouldn't have been born Italian. Shut up you olive skinned goat fucker.
Oh yeah, you never hear any jokes about Germans.
Who do you think's writing 'em all? Do you think that Jews write jokes about Jews?
(in best Yiddish voice for this next bit, like two guys talking to each other) Two of us walk into a bar.
That's not funny, you putz.
Shut up, you hassidich schmuck. I'll nail you to a tree. Don't worry, people vill follow you for years to come.
How about this one- Two of us walk into a blonde. One says, "Wow it's dark in here." The second one says, "I didn't know your mom was Italian!"
See? I do this while I'm driving. Beware all who walk near my car, unless you're fat enough for me to mistake for a firetruck, as I might not be paying attention to the road ahead.
Last night my brother Darryl came over and we had some beers in front of the fire. While solving some of the world's problems, the conversation somehow turned toward the Greeks. "Fuck 'em," I said," Bunch of toga-wearing dick-pullers anyhow."
Today I went to one of the departments here at work and was talking to a guy who does acting on the side, and who showed me some of the dance moves the cast will be doing. This particular part involved him moving side to side, alternately jutting his left and right legs out in a motion that could be used to demonstrate the proper technique for fending off an amorous dog. You have to remember through all of this that this gentleman is not in any way svelte. His hair sweats when he moves quickly, and his earlobes have cholesterol problems. Well, after several of these "steps" he would lift his knee about half-way up his thigh. Then several more back and forth attempts at trying to be the fitness instructor at a bowling alley, then another knee lift.
"Looks like he's trying to fart," I said.
He and the two ladies in his department laughed so hard they were crying. MC-Slomo about fell over, but made it to his chair.
On the way back to my office, my brain started to wander, since we all know driving does nothing for me, and thinking about laughing at that dude dancing started my brain to play bumper-cars. In order:
Damn that was funny. If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't do stupid stuff.
If you don't like the name greasball guinny wop dago goombah, you probably shouldn't have been born Italian. Shut up you olive skinned goat fucker.
Oh yeah, you never hear any jokes about Germans.
Who do you think's writing 'em all? Do you think that Jews write jokes about Jews?
(in best Yiddish voice for this next bit, like two guys talking to each other) Two of us walk into a bar.
That's not funny, you putz.
Shut up, you hassidich schmuck. I'll nail you to a tree. Don't worry, people vill follow you for years to come.
How about this one- Two of us walk into a blonde. One says, "Wow it's dark in here." The second one says, "I didn't know your mom was Italian!"
See? I do this while I'm driving. Beware all who walk near my car, unless you're fat enough for me to mistake for a firetruck, as I might not be paying attention to the road ahead.
Nov 8, 2007
He would probably fuck a horse if you gave him a step ladder
That's how I was described to someone at work. I guess it has to do with some side comments made to female pedeadstrians as I passed. This certain person was starting to tell some stories out-of-school about what comments get said at the office when the machines are running, and no one can hear. I put a swift end to that.
Other than that, not a whole lot has been going on. I went to Churchill Downs on Sunday, and won every time I went to the beer booth. I actually didn't do to badly, since I went with 60, won 50, and came home with 40. That's right- I came home from the track with money! And no, I didn't leave at the fifth race.
When I got home I got some beer. I opened the box to find 18 friends in there. It was truly a good day.
Since it's been cold here lately, my car windows have been up. I yelled so loudly the other day that my ears rang afterward. This does prove that I am my own worst enemy.
the real question is, how hard would I fuck the horse.
Other than that, not a whole lot has been going on. I went to Churchill Downs on Sunday, and won every time I went to the beer booth. I actually didn't do to badly, since I went with 60, won 50, and came home with 40. That's right- I came home from the track with money! And no, I didn't leave at the fifth race.
When I got home I got some beer. I opened the box to find 18 friends in there. It was truly a good day.
Since it's been cold here lately, my car windows have been up. I yelled so loudly the other day that my ears rang afterward. This does prove that I am my own worst enemy.
the real question is, how hard would I fuck the horse.
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