Hammer, hammer everywhere, but not a nail to hit.

My co-worker Guido moved into his house a couple of Saturdays ago. Well, mostly moved. And, as we all know from living in houses, they need shit done to them. Guido needed to run his washing machine into his sump, but had never before used most of the tools required for the job (by the way, whoever has my channel locks, I would like them back). He also didn't really have a clue other than what the guy at Lowe's told him, which is crap, because we all know that those guys aren't interested in instruction or actually helping you. They only want to get a great feeling of satisfaction that comes from letting you know that they're better than you, and that if you don't know what a canuder valve is, then you really shouldn't be attempting this job, but I digress.
Anyway, we were there in the basement, and Guido had never used a hacksaw, concrete bit, concrete screws, thread tape, a drill(extensively)or a hole saw. This is not to say that he is in any way stupid. It's just odd that someone outside of wall street or academia could reach the age of thirty years without some knowledge of basic tools.

We cut 2 inch PVC pipe. I showed him how to stand, work the saw, etc.
What I said: "Well, it's alright if it's a bit off."
What I thought: "Holy shit, dude- If this thing were any more crooked, it'd be in congress."

We used the hole saw in the plastic lid of the sump. It was a little more entailed than just using a drill.
WIS: "Pull the bit up, raise the rpms, and slowly add pressure to the back of the drill. That's why the drill's kicking back."

WIT: "Sweet Jesus- Don't jam the drill in there and then press the trigger. You smell that? It's the electric motor burning up."

Then we got to fitting and gluing the PVC. I showed him how to on one joint. After that, it seemed like an eternity. I understand not wanting to do something incorrectly, but it's plastic pipe. It's like Czechoslovakia- you zip in and you zip out.

WIS: "You probably don't need any more glue than that. It'll just take longer to inure."
WIT: "If you don't stop fucking with that glue I'm going to pee on your head. Seriously, just goop it, fit it, twist it and let it stand."

Anyway, Guido now has an idea what small jobs entail around the house. I know these things aren't a priori, but it took a lot to just sit back and just teach. I told him that if he ever needed copper work done, I'd do it for him, cause I'm not going to wait for the learning curve while he works with flame.