Last year my brother asked his girlfriend to marry him, and due to her being able to make poor decisions (on this point they are a perfect match), she said yes.
He had little money being in school and all, and with them pinching pennies on the wedding, I told him that as a gift, I would pay for the bar. Actually less altruistic than acoholicly selfish, I figured that it would be about $600. Not a sum to sneeze at, but enough to beer up the guests, with a few bottles of wine for the posh.
Well, you've anticipated the joke. Last week I asked my brother if I needed to write a check to him, or to the caterer, and how much it would be. Verbatum (you'll know who's who)-
"I guess the caterer. It's only going to be fifteen hundred."
"What? Are they serving liquid gold? for 200 people? That 's over seven dollars a fucking drink!"
"Well, that's just a down payment."
"Just a down payment? Fifteen fucking hundred dollars is just a down payment?"
"No, not a down payment. It's to cover everything."
"It doesn't cover shit, it fucking buys it twice."
"If you'd shut up asshole I'll finish. You pay fifteen hundred, and what they don't use gets credited back to you."
"Do they know I'm backing the car up to the door and removing the remainder?"
"I don't think you can, due to liquer licenses and all."
"Shit. Oh well, I hope they're not dicks. If they are, I'll show them how it's done."
I don't want to ruin his day, but damn that boy's expensive.
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