Sep 24, 2007
Eyes on the Surprise
I was going to post, but my boss just walked in. I'll write tomorrow about hitting my head and cussing in church.
Sep 20, 2007
Chili went like hot cakes
My entire batch of chili has gone from pot to poop within 72 hours- a new record.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd, since my co-worker is out today, I can fart in the office. I've already buried three in his chair.
Gotta go. I got my third #2 of the day playing peek-a-boo with me.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd, since my co-worker is out today, I can fart in the office. I've already buried three in his chair.
Gotta go. I got my third #2 of the day playing peek-a-boo with me.
Sep 17, 2007
Paint by Blunder
I have two lessons for you today.
1) Gravity is not just a good idea, it's the law.
2) I fought the law, and the law won.
I took this last week off from work to well, work at home. It turns out that if someone complains about the state of disrepair of one's windows in Louisville, the city can make one do something about it unless one wants to face a $100 a day fine. Needless to say, I chose paint.
Besides, the level of difficulty of getting my dwarf ass with all essentials up and down the extension ladder and reaching out to paint the necessary areas gives me and my adrenal glands a good challenge and workout.
In order to shorten this post, I have removed the stories and just left the molars of the stories. You know me and how I act- fill in the story yourself.
Things that should be remembered when painting, using ladders, and trying to avoid dialing 911 (don't ask me how I learned these):
a)If you're holding a can or cup of paint in one hand, and a wet paintbrush in the other hand, there will always be one more step at the bottom of the ladder than you think. When you are starting to feel that you're taking a larger step than normal, don't look down- your brush will put more paint on your face than ever went on Tammy Fae.
b)Put tape measures back where they came from, lest they will emigrate to the top of the landing, which is where you're headed with about six pieces of broken glass that will be more than glad to turn into a thousand pieces of glass after a short but hair-raising flight down the stairs.
b1)fall slower than the glass or you will be hit. To hell with Sir Einstein newton. Do this and live.
c)The person you thought was coming over to help you paint is there really to laugh at you when you paint your forehead.
d)The piece of soffet that appears to be coming out of the retainer on the eave is under the layer of black shingles that have been out in the sun all day. Don't lay on them in order to adjust the offending piece of siding, as the smell of bacon frying is your legs.
e)You dumb shit. Just because you're on the other side of the house doesn't mean that Point A is invalid. Go wash the paint off your face.
f)Yep, that paint is sure sticky. It'll pick up every bit of grass it can when you drop the brush.
g)Sure, it's thick and creamy, but paint tastes like doody. Do not hold your mouth open when painting overhead.
h)Make sure that the tube of glazing has stopped oozing before you put it in your pocket. If not, at least make sure that there are no holes in your pockets.
My cousin Luke and I got done a day early, so we went fishing on Friday. A great wrap up to a good week. The only thing I have to say about going fishing this last Friday is, "Oh, no you fucking don't!"
1) Gravity is not just a good idea, it's the law.
2) I fought the law, and the law won.
I took this last week off from work to well, work at home. It turns out that if someone complains about the state of disrepair of one's windows in Louisville, the city can make one do something about it unless one wants to face a $100 a day fine. Needless to say, I chose paint.
Besides, the level of difficulty of getting my dwarf ass with all essentials up and down the extension ladder and reaching out to paint the necessary areas gives me and my adrenal glands a good challenge and workout.
In order to shorten this post, I have removed the stories and just left the molars of the stories. You know me and how I act- fill in the story yourself.
Things that should be remembered when painting, using ladders, and trying to avoid dialing 911 (don't ask me how I learned these):
a)If you're holding a can or cup of paint in one hand, and a wet paintbrush in the other hand, there will always be one more step at the bottom of the ladder than you think. When you are starting to feel that you're taking a larger step than normal, don't look down- your brush will put more paint on your face than ever went on Tammy Fae.
b)Put tape measures back where they came from, lest they will emigrate to the top of the landing, which is where you're headed with about six pieces of broken glass that will be more than glad to turn into a thousand pieces of glass after a short but hair-raising flight down the stairs.
b1)fall slower than the glass or you will be hit. To hell with Sir Einstein newton. Do this and live.
c)The person you thought was coming over to help you paint is there really to laugh at you when you paint your forehead.
d)The piece of soffet that appears to be coming out of the retainer on the eave is under the layer of black shingles that have been out in the sun all day. Don't lay on them in order to adjust the offending piece of siding, as the smell of bacon frying is your legs.
e)You dumb shit. Just because you're on the other side of the house doesn't mean that Point A is invalid. Go wash the paint off your face.
f)Yep, that paint is sure sticky. It'll pick up every bit of grass it can when you drop the brush.
g)Sure, it's thick and creamy, but paint tastes like doody. Do not hold your mouth open when painting overhead.
h)Make sure that the tube of glazing has stopped oozing before you put it in your pocket. If not, at least make sure that there are no holes in your pockets.
My cousin Luke and I got done a day early, so we went fishing on Friday. A great wrap up to a good week. The only thing I have to say about going fishing this last Friday is, "Oh, no you fucking don't!"
Sep 7, 2007
What you've all been waiting for
I just got an e-mail from Amerikilt confirming that my order will be shipped today.
live kilted!
http://www.amerikilt.com/
live kilted!
http://www.amerikilt.com/
I need a tow truck.
My older brother Daryll has a boat in my backyard, and my younger brother Daryll had two poor conditioned cars in the driveway. Guess who got a letter in the mail from the City of Louisville?
OD still hasn't cleaned the weeds out from around his boat, and YD has sold his truck, but his rusted-ass car is still sitting there.
The topper to all of this is that while the inspector was on the property investigating the complaints of my neighbors, he also decided that my windows needed to be reglazed and painted. Hell, I could've told him that, but I could also use a bit more time to get it done.
I'll be taking next week off from work so that I can be on a ladder glazing and painting windows.
Guess which two pole smokers won't be helping me.
OD still hasn't cleaned the weeds out from around his boat, and YD has sold his truck, but his rusted-ass car is still sitting there.
The topper to all of this is that while the inspector was on the property investigating the complaints of my neighbors, he also decided that my windows needed to be reglazed and painted. Hell, I could've told him that, but I could also use a bit more time to get it done.
I'll be taking next week off from work so that I can be on a ladder glazing and painting windows.
Guess which two pole smokers won't be helping me.
Sep 4, 2007
They don't blow holes in bands run by remote control
The storm is over, and now for the clean up. The professors I have dealt with and could contact last week are happy, and the other 90% lost my number, so I'm groovy.
Back to forty hour weeks, weekends off and so on.
Anyway, on with the show:
I was listening to Sherlock Holmes Valley of Fear on disk this weekend and carved a pipe. The stem is from a piece of beech ( a small one I guess you could call a son-of-a-beech), and the bowl is of Crab apple, which is a close family member to a maple.
The bowl style originally was planned to be in the Cavendish style, but with the grain tear out, the design changed twice, eventually becoming carved like an acorn with a bit of a flat bottom and a textured top. If I knew how to put up pictures without having to become an expert at this posting thing, I would show you what the bowl looks like.
I will be staining the top of the bowl tonight, attaching the stem, and leaving it to dry. I look forward to waxing it and having a smoke tomorrow.
BTW:
Keep your eyes posted here in October, as that begins fire season. Between that and the coons next door, viewers at home can help me keep a precise Andy/Coon injury status report.
I'll probably have some ER fodder for ya.
Back to forty hour weeks, weekends off and so on.
Anyway, on with the show:
I was listening to Sherlock Holmes Valley of Fear on disk this weekend and carved a pipe. The stem is from a piece of beech ( a small one I guess you could call a son-of-a-beech), and the bowl is of Crab apple, which is a close family member to a maple.
The bowl style originally was planned to be in the Cavendish style, but with the grain tear out, the design changed twice, eventually becoming carved like an acorn with a bit of a flat bottom and a textured top. If I knew how to put up pictures without having to become an expert at this posting thing, I would show you what the bowl looks like.
I will be staining the top of the bowl tonight, attaching the stem, and leaving it to dry. I look forward to waxing it and having a smoke tomorrow.
BTW:
Keep your eyes posted here in October, as that begins fire season. Between that and the coons next door, viewers at home can help me keep a precise Andy/Coon injury status report.
I'll probably have some ER fodder for ya.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)