Paint by Blunder

I have two lessons for you today.
1) Gravity is not just a good idea, it's the law.
2) I fought the law, and the law won.

I took this last week off from work to well, work at home. It turns out that if someone complains about the state of disrepair of one's windows in Louisville, the city can make one do something about it unless one wants to face a $100 a day fine. Needless to say, I chose paint.
Besides, the level of difficulty of getting my dwarf ass with all essentials up and down the extension ladder and reaching out to paint the necessary areas gives me and my adrenal glands a good challenge and workout.

In order to shorten this post, I have removed the stories and just left the molars of the stories. You know me and how I act- fill in the story yourself.

Things that should be remembered when painting, using ladders, and trying to avoid dialing 911 (don't ask me how I learned these):
a)If you're holding a can or cup of paint in one hand, and a wet paintbrush in the other hand, there will always be one more step at the bottom of the ladder than you think. When you are starting to feel that you're taking a larger step than normal, don't look down- your brush will put more paint on your face than ever went on Tammy Fae.
b)Put tape measures back where they came from, lest they will emigrate to the top of the landing, which is where you're headed with about six pieces of broken glass that will be more than glad to turn into a thousand pieces of glass after a short but hair-raising flight down the stairs.
b1)fall slower than the glass or you will be hit. To hell with Sir Einstein newton. Do this and live.
c)The person you thought was coming over to help you paint is there really to laugh at you when you paint your forehead.
d)The piece of soffet that appears to be coming out of the retainer on the eave is under the layer of black shingles that have been out in the sun all day. Don't lay on them in order to adjust the offending piece of siding, as the smell of bacon frying is your legs.
e)You dumb shit. Just because you're on the other side of the house doesn't mean that Point A is invalid. Go wash the paint off your face.
f)Yep, that paint is sure sticky. It'll pick up every bit of grass it can when you drop the brush.
g)Sure, it's thick and creamy, but paint tastes like doody. Do not hold your mouth open when painting overhead.
h)Make sure that the tube of glazing has stopped oozing before you put it in your pocket. If not, at least make sure that there are no holes in your pockets.

My cousin Luke and I got done a day early, so we went fishing on Friday. A great wrap up to a good week. The only thing I have to say about going fishing this last Friday is, "Oh, no you fucking don't!"