Apr 28, 2009

SOMEONE PLEASE NUKE INDIANA

Driving in the rain in Louisville is bad enough because people think it'll hurt their car, but add hoosier driver to rainy conditions and you wish you traveled by helicopter.

If I had more time I would describe in full detail what happened, but for those few who know my driving habits, in order this is what tried to jump out in front of me: Black BMW with Ohio State sticker in the window. He almost got to taste Camry out of pure spite and loathing.

BMW with an Ohio State sticker. I bet the sonovabitch even votes republican (sorry ted).


I almost got into a wreck going over the bridge. I almost got into a wreck at the bottom as I came off the bridge. I almost got into a wreck trying to park. I almost got into a wreck trying to get BACK to the bridge.

It didn't help that our food was late, and we got the ugly waitress. Again.


Whoever said that "pigeons fly upside down over Indiana because tain't nothin' worth shitin' on" was correct.

You know why Kentucky doesn't fall into Tennessee? Because Indiana sucks.

You know why Hoosiers don't eat M&M's? Too hard to peel.

A hoosier hated Kentucky so he threw a stick of dynamite accross the Ohio River. A Louisvillian lit it and threw it back.

A Hoosier asked a Kentuckian to help them with a puzzle of a rooster where all the pieces looked alike. When the Kentuckian went over to the Hoosier's house, he discovered that the Hoosier had dumped a box of Cornflakes on the table.

Do you know what the best thing to come out of Indiana is? I-65.

Do you know why Indianapolis is in the middle of Indiana? No other state wanted it.



Please, oh please Edward Teller, help me!

3 comments:

Dan said...

"I almost got into a wreck going over the bridge. I almost got into a wreck at the bottom as I came off the bridge. I almost got into a wreck trying to park. I almost got into a wreck trying to get BACK to the bridge."

Dude, maybe it's your driving.

KAISER ANDY I said...

SILENCE!

The almost wreck gettin on the bridge was a guy trying to merge into me because he was in the far right lane that doesn't go onto the bridge, but down to Witherspoon.

The almost wreck at the bottom was some dumbshit cutting me off so he could turn right because he was in the wrong lane.

The almost wreck while trying to park was someone deciding that their personal lane was accross the double yellow coming toward me.

The almost wreck coming back to the bridge was the infamous BMW.

My driving actually saved me. How else except through training can someone use both middle fingers and still steer?

I am the man

Ted said...

Why does everyone assume that I'm a Republican? Those Rush Limbaugh-fellating idiots keep trying to spend my tax dollars to keep gays from getting married. I say let the buggers suffer with the rest of us!