Lord, don't do this to me

I stepped into the barbershop today while on lunch break, and the barber, who was finishing his cigarette stuck his head in the door and said, "there's some commotion at your store. you might want to get over there."
Sweet baby cakes! A tussle with someone trying to steal. I'm in!
I ran out the door and when I get to the door of the store, one of the employees was trying to pull this 50 plus year old woman back into the store. I grabbed her arm, but then realized that I could get the ever-loving shit sued out of me, so I let go and just started walking next to her as she made her slow escape. As we strolled, she kept talking about how the man in the store broke her finger and that she was going to press charges. I retorted loudly with, "What did you do? Why have the police been called?"
Naturally she kept saying that she "didn't do nuffin."
People out and about were starting to stare, so I figured I could coax it gently out of her by yelling, "What did you do? Why have the police been called?"
This kind exchange took place repeatedly as we ambled about a block down the street.
The employee at the door caught up with us and motioned the campus 5-0s to come out way. When they got there and started asking her questions, I gently strolled back to the barber shop.
I got my blood up for a fight, but just wound up escorting some old lady to a cop car. Damn the luck.
At least it's never boring.