Gotta love Winston Churchill

"Where you stand depends on where you sit."

I have a story that I can't write out here that is, well, pure Kaiser.

In other news:

I was walking on campus yesterday wearing my kilt, and I cut across the grass to get onto a different sidewalk. Well, there was a bunch of clover, and therefore were a bunch of bees in this certain patch of grass.

Circle one of the two options of what bees do when startled: fly up / fly down.

If you chose fly up, then you have already ascertained the origin of the frantic dance with which I proceeded to entertain all comers.

Now, one would think that a bee-keeper would not move about frantically after having startled some bees, but the word I would use to describe that notion would be WRONG!!

Not only was I dancing, but when I felt one on the inside of my leg close to the round brothers, I flapped the front of my kilt a couple of times to get them out.

I bet if I had any pride at all, that would have been a difficult ordeal.

It's Sunny! and hot as shit!

Well, summer fucking arrived yesterday with 92 degrees and 60% humidity. Heat index of 102!

Today, not much better, but I HAD to get into the garden.

Now, I don't like cold and winter, but seriously- do we need to go from 70 deg and rainy to sunny and a hundred?

I realize that I don't live in the hottest place in summer or the coldest in winter, but is it too much to ask for a little fall and spring thrown into the mix?

In better news-

I picked a whole bag of green beans, and one cucumber. One dumb fucking cucumber is growing in the chicken wire fence with two halves bulging aroung the wire. I think I'm going to cut it off tomorrow and eat it while I'm working in the garden tieing up tomato plants.

I don't want to wish my life away, but I'm itching to go to Texas and maybe get a big-ole steak.

Biblical Proportions

This weather has been about seven kinds of fucked up here over these last couple months. Cold at night, and hot during the day? C'mon- I don't live in the desert (even though I'm going through kind of a dry spell)!

How about you hold off the rain long enough several times a week so that I can weed my garden?

I had everything laid out so that we could get into the beehive last night and put on the second brood chamber, but the wind picked up, so we had to cancel that.

All of this bullshit weather means that things I did before as a hobby have now become chores due to the fact that I have to pack all the shit that I used to do for fun into the few hours a week that I can get them done.

Yeah, at least we're not having a drought, but give me a fucking chance!

Saturday it rained hard enough that I saw water running down my yard toward the house (the burm works!). One half hour later, the sun came out and it was humid as shit, and the garden was too wet to work in.

O well, at least it's not ice.

I'm a little worried about where this is headed for the winter.

I'm going to be the whitest white man in Texas

I'm going to visit Fo-Faney in San Antonio in early July, so I might want to start wearing shorts. Of course, that would require the weather to cooperate, and that just ain't happenin' right now.
It was 54deg last night. FUEGO IN JUNE!!!
This change of climate is playing hell on the garden. Speaking of the garden- I'm going to stay up and shoot the furry fucking head off of whatever is eating my pepper plants. I bet it's the chipmunks that I've seen running around.

I'll need to weed the garden this weekend. I have tomatoes, and the cukes are starting to come in.

first good weekend in a while

We actually had continually decent weather this weekend, so I worked on my car's brakes, cut the grass, weeded the garden, helped our lupine friend with Tardo's car, and even managed to get a nap in.
I thought about going to the lake on Saturday night, but I chose what I thought was the wiser path and stayed home, only to get stuck in traffic around the overpass on Central Ave.
There was traffic around Churchill, baseball playoffs at the corner of third and central, Kenny Chesney playing Papa john's stadium, and a regional Track and field meet down Floyd street.
Three of the four events were within a quarter mile of each other, and all vying for the same parking areas. I almost ran into a guy holding a cardboard "parking $5" sign who was standing in the middle of the street.
There was an entire row of guys penises (giganto ford and chevy trucks that have never seen the farm) in a lot. I thought about coming back with some spray paint.

I don't know who thinks this shit up, but it sounds like someone ain't talkin' to someone.