Every fucking time something goes on, they close my end of town

Fuck the Iron Man competition, and fuck Mayor Squirmy Assholebramson. Every time there's a foot race in this town, they close down the main corridor to the south end and my neighborhood.

For the iron man competition yesterday they had three of the main corridors in the city shut down until about 1AM this morning. No-one could get anywhere on cross streets as cars packed every other available route.

"It's only once a year, dude, and it keeps the Ville on the map," I hear you saying.

Well, I still had to go into work, or try and fail in my case.

Next week, we have the bi-annual mayor's walk, bike and run. The mayor does this twice a year, on Memorial and Labor days to promote health. Now, I'm all for healthy living, but I'm sure he doesn't take into account the instances of road rage and acts of wanton-endangerment that go with closing down the parkway a second weekend in a row. Not to mention the high blood pressure.

Southern parkway near my neighborhood gets closed about 8 times a year, and with there being 347 more days in the year doesn't seem like much, but it's all between April and September.

I would kill you all for a sandwich

I had to drop stuff off to Jed Clampet College's redneck stepchild's bookstore today out off dickme highway today, and I must have seen about twenty pair of truck nuts as I drove out there.
Some dumb mutherfucker stopped at the blinking yellow light at the entrance to a firehouse. STOPPED. Sweet bucket of shit. I called him everything but a gentleman and a scholar. It turned out that his window was open, and he looked in his rear view mirror and then purposely slowly started. I got around to his passenger side at the next actual red light, and he started yelling at me.
You know me. That I cannot abide, so let the profanity games begin!
I tried to remind him of his uncertain heritage due to his mom's affinity for farm animals.
He called me a little son of a bitch. I told him he was right, but that he still preferred the accompaniment of males and the oral pleasure he brings them.
We parted ways after I rode in his blind spot for two miles before I reached the highway.

Don't fuck with me on the road. I know how to handle a vehicle dip shit. My car's paid for. If you're in my lane, you might just buy me a new one.
BTW-It wasn't metaphorical; I truly meant for you to go home and fornicate with your mother.

first day of class

8:09 in the morning, got a bunch of stuff done and charging the phone. The gate opens at 8:30 and the race begins.

Remember: Murder is illegal. Thus the phrase, "to beat within an inch of his life."

Let Ted have 'em after that.

Lots O' Hours

It's been a bit hectic in the land of Kais here lately. I did the overnight this last saturday, and when I came home I found I couldn't sleep, so I showered and came back to work.
I'm only on 14 hours a day right now, but it will go up, and that's just the breaks.

I did get a paper cut underneat my thumbnail today, and I apologize to Thomas who had to hear what I said as it happened.

Two more weeks of this stuff, then I'm getting a load of bricks delivered, and I'm building a clock tower on top of our shop so I can shoot some motherfuckers when I'm pissed off.

Masterbation ain't cutting it anymore as a stress reliever, and they don't like it when I do it in the front of the store, so I may have to result to hookers, which sucks because it'll blow my budget.

I need new friends

I was helping cousin Luke yank a refrigerator out of his basement yesterday, and we came to the conclusion that I need to branch out and make new friends.
Everytime Yankee has come to town, something terrible has happened.
1) Brother darrel got married (I know he came to town for the wedding, but the thread still holds).
2) He was in town, but left to escape the hurricane and the ensuing tree damage.
3) He was in town and brought and ice storm with him and the ensuing almost total power outages and tree damage
4) He was in town and we got almost seven inches of rain in 75 minutes, which brought the nice flash floods and power outages, which is why I was helping Luke in his basement.

Do you know what usually calms me down when shit like this happens? A nice trip to the cabin to go fishing, which I can't do anymore because of that mother-fucking-cockass-goathumping-elephant sperm gargling-dickhead Thomas bringing his lightening striking bad luck to Boston, Ky.

I'm glad these two don't travel in the same circle, as I would put it 5to1 that we would be hit by locusts.

Closed until further notice

Seeing as they are still pumping water out of many of the buildings on campus, most places where you find professors are closed.
It's kinda hard to do my job, but it's also relatively quiet on campus which is eerily odd for this time of year. It's like a Life After People episode on the History channel.

At Kaiser Kastle the box fans in the basement have pretty well dried up the floor, so I should be fine.
I didn't lose any appliances, unlike cousin Luke.

Busy, gotta go.