I would kill you all for a sandwich

I had to drop stuff off to Jed Clampet College's redneck stepchild's bookstore today out off dickme highway today, and I must have seen about twenty pair of truck nuts as I drove out there.
Some dumb mutherfucker stopped at the blinking yellow light at the entrance to a firehouse. STOPPED. Sweet bucket of shit. I called him everything but a gentleman and a scholar. It turned out that his window was open, and he looked in his rear view mirror and then purposely slowly started. I got around to his passenger side at the next actual red light, and he started yelling at me.
You know me. That I cannot abide, so let the profanity games begin!
I tried to remind him of his uncertain heritage due to his mom's affinity for farm animals.
He called me a little son of a bitch. I told him he was right, but that he still preferred the accompaniment of males and the oral pleasure he brings them.
We parted ways after I rode in his blind spot for two miles before I reached the highway.

Don't fuck with me on the road. I know how to handle a vehicle dip shit. My car's paid for. If you're in my lane, you might just buy me a new one.
BTW-It wasn't metaphorical; I truly meant for you to go home and fornicate with your mother.