Bring on the cold and rainy. I got FUEGO!

I visited a turkey this last week, and another one came over to help me drink beer and fish. It was a very good week: I must've drank about 30 Guinness while in Charlotte, and let me tell you, it's been a while since I've shit that black.

A good time was had by all.

yeah, about that...

Fuckin' Toyotas anyway

The driver's side door handle broke on my Camry. What the fuck is up with their goddamn handles anyway? I guess I should be happy that my car goes and stops totally under my control, but fucking shit that's annoying.

In other news after listening to the news:
I'm starting a new church. It's going to be called, "Church of Me Not Giving a Shit about Your ancient Bullshit Religion so You Have No Reason to Try to Kill Me."
It may be in response to sand eating camel fuckers calling for my death.

some new things I have to try

Oh, sweet irony

I had to get my driver's license renewed today. I thought the renewal card read 718 West Jefferson, so I figured I'd park my car at the old office and walk the four blocks to the courthouse. When I got to the courthouse and walked around a bit looking for the license office and couldn't find it, I took out the card to double check. Turns out the office wasn't at 718 W. Jefferson, but 718 West Main street, which was another seven blocks.
So, I walked 22 blocks round trip to renew my driver's license. Oh well, I got to walk off lunch.

I celebrated the eighth anniversary of getting my ass whipped by Jenny Raymond

Well, another October 27th has passed, and with it many well wishes. Camper Dan threatened to bring a bottle of kickin' chicken, but I told him it would only be me and him, so he knows who I would punch when drunk. Turns out he brought a twelver over.
The Minister of Silly Units and Sergeant at Arms came over as well. Blazing Saddles played in the background as shit was passed.

'T'weren't cold enough to have a fire, but I'll take that. The longer it's warm, the less I have to fork over to LG&E.

Oh, Teddy Boy, the food, the food is waiting.

So the Corpsman is coming to town. Don't know why; don't care. This means I'll be cleaning the house a bit.

In other news:

It was a shame to have a fire and not cook something on the stove, so last night we had Italian sausage last night on the porch.

This shit's funny

This was forwarded to me, and it's cool as shit.

http://i.imgur.com/nb3e3.png

You'll have to copy and drop in explorer. Blogger's not letting me make the link for some reason.

work with me here people

So, we have the new stove at the Republic, and the old one was brought to my co-worker's house. Jees-a-pete that thing was heavy. I had it on the furniture dolly heading down the ramp. When I got to the end of the ramp, the stove dropped off and damn near catapulted me into the yard.
I wasn't looking forward to me landing in the yard and the stove rolling over onto me. That would've hurt. A lot. Luckily I was able to remain earth-bound and not test gravity, because no matter how many times I try to defy, gravity always reminds me who's boss.
Anyway, I should be piping the new stove tonight, and after that pray for rain so I can properly start the new season of fuego.

I didn't get a harrumph out of that guy

Apparently the hemorrhaging hasn't stopped. This game of duck-duck-goose is getting demoralizing.

Well, I probably won't be going back there anytime soon

Several of us at work went to The Tilted Kilt for lunch, and, well, not so much.

Yes, the waitresses had huge knockers and tight asses wrapped in short tartan skirts, but there was also a twenty minute wait to get a table after looking for a parking spot for ten because the restaurant next to it had most of the parking lot marked off for it.

The TVs were so loud that everyone in the place had to yell in order to be heard, and the close proximity of the tables did not exactly portend a good eating experience. It was like being at a bar show without the ability to have enough alcohol to not give a shit. I wanted to stand and face the table next to us and explain to one lady that her laugh was stupid, she laughed at stupid shit, and that I didn't want to hear another word about how she went out last weekend and got so drunk that she and one of her friends were making up songs in the car on the way home (one assumes a third party drove). You know what that is? STUPID! I wanted to also explain to her that she was so ugly I'd have to shit on her face in order to make her pretty enough to fuck; but I digress.

The food didn't totally suck, but I've had better frozen dinners; especially for the number of clams I had to dole out and the time I had to wait for it. Not to mention the kitchen messed up our appetizer order, but that's understandable seeing as it was one of the more difficult things to prepare. I mean, fresh fried potato chips does involve the three-step process of cutting the potato, frying it, and then putting it in a dish to be taken to the table by the server.

At one point the waitress actually came out to the table and apologized that our food wasn't ready because the kitchen got slammed. Really? At lunchtime in a busy area the kitchen got slammed? Now, I've never worked in a restaurant, but I have planned a few events in my life. I'm pretty sure the bosses hadn't thought this one through.
I have an Idea: Fewer tables you jackasses! Or, even better, more help at the BUSIEST TIME OF THE DAY!

No sir, I don't think I'm going to return to there any time soon.

Wow, three Saturdays in a row!

I woke up this morning and got out of be at 8:30. "What to do today?" I asked myself.
The answer was, "Make a bier holder for the back porch followed by taking measurments for the downstairs bathroom."
After doing that I decided to start cleaning the living room. While doing that I found the "Man with No Name" series of Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns. I'm currently on "For a Few Dollars More." So much for cleaning the living room.
Next up: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Ennio Marconni's masterful soundtrack to that movie is unrivaled with its ability to evoke the exact feeling of each scene.

Truthfully, the best part about these movies is the fact that you can take a nap in the middle and really not miss that much. Now, if I woke up, looked at the T.V. and saw someone driving a 57 VW bug in the desert, then I'd rewind and take a second look (as well as wonder how the Man With No Name got ahold of Herby).

Well, writing is taking me away from both the movie and my nap.
Chow.

I have a new themesong!

If I didn't do the crime, I won't do the time

Dear Hot chicks that come into work with an attitude:

If I ain't hittin' that, I ain't puttin' up with your attitude. Check your eye rolls and your sighs at the door.
Yes, I was looking at your tits. It might be because you have them hanging out looking like you're ready to be milked. I'll be glad to help you with that, but please take this sock and shove it in your mouth. If you stop letting air activate your vocal cords you would be so much more attractive.

I had to get out of there. I was getting ready to punch this one who used 'like' as seemingly every other word.

I thought the ones at the high school across the street were bad enough, but at the university they're just as horrid. Uggh.

That sounds mighty tasty

Alright, everyone knows that I'm a huge fan of Funyuns. I mean, they're fun, and they're yun- it's right there on the package. I can eat the hell out of those things, and not give a porcupine's prickly ass what they do to my blood pressure.
Well, I just saw a recipe that our lupine friend is going to have to make. It's a simple green-bean casserole recipe that has funyuns instead of fried onions on the top. Mmmmm...a dish that has both green beans and funyuns. Life is good.
I wonder if I made the casserole, then wrapped it in bacon and put it in a smoker for a few hours...

Hey, Bill O'Lielly

Noise proves nothing - often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.

Mark Twain

Hold it, hold it, hold it. What the hell is that shit?

I had an exchange with one of my new neighbors last night as I was taking out my recycle bins that had, shall we say, quite a liberal quantity of beer cans residing in them. It went like this:
"That's a lot of beercans."
"Oh, there're some bottles in there too."
"Wow."
"Taint all mine. I had some help with these."

This morning as I was leaving, I noticed that someone had come through the neighborhood and removed all the aluminum from people's bins, but left everything else. All I had left in two bins were five beer boxes and twelve bottles.
I thought, "Man, if you're going to take the cans, take all the other evidence too!"

I don't think she meant anything by her comment, but I hope this isn't leading to an argument, unless that leads to make-up sex.

Back to the Grind

Not that some of you don't have hectic-ass jobs and work long hours, but this weekend marks the I.P. for seven days a week through the end of August. Now's the time on Sprockets when we work.
Waiting for the first week of Oktober. I don't want to wish my life away, but I do want to go fishing.

Well, ain't that a somethin'.

My neighbors of almost 15 years moved out last week in order to find a single story home more suitable to their 70 year old hips and knees.
This left me with one question: Who will be moving in, and what are they like? O.K., that was two questions, but my main winter activity is at stake here, and I take that seriously. If some total jackass moves in, then it would have to be full-on warfare, and we all know that's not a great situation in which to find yourself.

So, I asked Betty, and she said, and I quote, "First it's going to be a couple of twin girls that go to UofL, followed by their sister who is student teaching, and then their recently divorced dad."

Yesterday was about 100deg outside, and I had some visitors/new residents next door in the pool.
All I have to say is Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!
I'm currently accepting donations for lawyers' fees.

Sol love, Sol hate part 2

So, I got my peppers in the ground and watered. The next day most of them were dead. I watered them, and some perked right back up. After that we had one day of cooler weather and one of hot. Out of over 150 plants I think I have twenty left. Shit.

Tomorrow I bring out the rest of my seedlings just for a few hours to try to harden them up. If not, I'm going to buy some plants that may just make it. I will have peppers.