No Camry for Old Men

These last two weeks I have been calling around, looking on the internet and in the paper for used cars within my rockin' rolla's and bank account's peramiters. With gas rising and people thinking that they're sitting on goldmines, prices have been high, so they get the gentle 'fuck off.'

I started looking toward lots instead of individuals, because people are pricks when it comes to selling their own cars. I know, I've seen me do it. Dealers nowadays use their 150+ point checkup where they make sure that all the parts work as they are supposed to, including grabbing the car's tires and asking it to cough.
This is how I and cousin Luke found ourselves at a Toyota dealer on Dixie Highway with a fella named Bob. I told him that I was looking for used. We started over to some smaller cars to where he pointed to some Chevy compacts.
"I don't want any of the American shit. Their small cars suck. You have to go to luxury before you find something decent."
With an odd look, he looks around the lot for a few seconds employing his 6'3" height to full advantage and began steering us in the direction of some newer-used cars.
"This one's nice, and it's only twelve thou..." He looked back at me and ceased when he saw me repeatedly pointing lower and shaking my head.
"I want under ten."
"Oh, well, uh, I'll see what we can find."

Two cars fit the description.
A 200 rolla with 107k , and an 01 Camry with 89k.

I don't think he knew what he was getting into when he let me test drive them, including the term "brake check."
Assuredly, he had never seen a testdriver swerve at a pedestrian, and even less so have the driver instruct the person in the passenger seat (Luke was next to me, with Bob in the back seat) to "get 'em with the door."

Some other terms with which I don't believe he has been familiarized during test-drives:

"Shit on a stick, fella. Get moving."
"You slow mother fucker."
"The goddamned car's not shifting right."
"Drive it or park it, dickwad."

A chuckle did come from the back seat when, after pulling to a stop and eyeing the future single mom (it's PRP for pete's sake. You know I ain't lyin') in the car next to me saying, "Hey Baby!"
When the light turned green I said, "bye, baby!"

I believe in test driving like I normally drive, and I bet he's got a few new stories to tell around the salesman campfire.

I'll soon be coming to a sidewalk near you.