On turning over a new leaf

Last night when I got home and it was near Zero degrees that I would do some housework (vacuuming/laundry) in order to stay busy and warm.

It was during this odd episode that I learned three things:

1) At some point the light bulb at the top of the stairs shattered. Explains why there was glass in the carpet.
2) I only had six beers last night.
3) I dream funny when I'm allowed to sleep for sleep and not to sleep something off.

When I finally got out of bed at seven this morning after tossing and turning for about 45 minutes I started thinking about maybe curtailing the libations so that I could get better sleep, which would mean I could wake up refreshed, which would mean that I could get more productive stuff done (because I came to work earlier I was able to miss Owen Bennett Jones on BBC America- I'll take that as a plus).
After much pondering I decided one thing:

I have to put a new bulb in the light at the top of the stairs.


In other news- I spoke to Janey-Janey-Fo-Fanie yesterday, and she said that where her boyfriend in Ottawa lives it was 15deg below.
F that man. Remember Woody Guthrie's ribbon highway? Take that sonovabitch somewhere south!

I'm not waiting on a lady...

And I'm sure not waiting on a friend.

I'm waiting to get a TOC so I can set up a book and do some more printing tomorrow.

There goes getting Sunday off.

Thanks.

In other news, now that I have time:

Remember that cool goatee I had?

Gone.

I was blowing on the coals in the stove to get 'em cooking, and one of the pieces of redwood popped into the hair on my chinny-chin-chin and got it to going.

I first swatted at it with my hand, but resorted to dunking my chin in the water bucket next to the stove to put it out.

Ouch.

In front of the mirror I tried to trim it even, but to no avail. It burned from the middle to the left, so off it came.

Maybe that's my New year's resolution. Not to shave and see how long I can get it.

I'm not sure about the hat and the curly side-burns.

It's almost over

I might get Sunday off!!!

Holy-shmolly

UL 74

UK 70

It sounded on the radio like a foul-fest, which means the teams weren't allowed to play like the ACC thugs do.

I do wish that the Cards and the Cats were in the same conference so that they could play each other again during the season.

An interresting thought

Now, I realize that with the cheap pieces of crap that come from China these days and time restraints that this isn't always possible, but doing for yourself has its merrits and gives a feeling of pride.

I saw this on a website a while back, but I saw it today in the folder and it got me to thinking after talking to a bunch of people in my family.

Bah, Humbug

One of the best Christmases of my young adult life.

Quiet morning, a good dinner at my cousin's house, then we drove to the U-boat in Boston and drank some beer and checked the place out.

Had a fire that night and my brother came over.

Easy-peasy- japanesey.

Back to the grind.

Damn You, Sherlock Holmes!

I was enjoying the gift that made me pee my pants the other day, and one of the discs kept getting stuck on a scene, and the player would shut down.

I thought that maybe I had a bad disc, but then I realized that the player was bought used about seven years ago.

Time for a new player.

Has Circuit City totally closed its doors yet?

Had a moment, thought I'd say hi.

Hi.

It's been busy at work, so I haven't been able to do much else, as I don't feel like doing shit when I get home except sit down and have the TV watch me.

I've started on Jen's swift, but at the pace I'm going, it should be called a glacial speed. I have the wood gathered and the plans. So far they haven't talked to each other, much less made themselves into a finished product.

Thanks to all who participated in the "Let's make Andy shit himself " Christmas present purchase this year.

When I get home tonight I'm going to hook the speakers in the basement to the DVD player upstairs. This way I can listen to Holmes and Watson while I work on Jen's project.

Busiern' a one arm up in the air paper hanger trying to take over europe

I'm on seven days a week at work for the next month, so you probably won't be seeing any updates.

Drink a beer, have a laugh, pull my finger.

See you in mid-January.

Mmmmmmm...chili

I made chili thursday night to bring into work yesterday. Some said it was hot, some said is was OK, and some said that the last time I made chili their insides hurt, so no thanks.

It filled all three requirements of good chili:

tasted good

filled a hole

full of farts

Yes, it was the gift that kept on giving.

The best thing to come out of Ohio is I-75

As I lay me down to sleep, Lord in Ohio the FIFOs to keep,

because if around them I must travel my nerves to a frizzy end will ravel.

When they drive like ass on the road

I want to squash them like a toad.

Pick a lane you fucking turd

or park your van along the curb.

I know you desire your hovel home,

but the lives you risk are not your own.

Lord take the FIFOs to keep

before I turn them into a bloody heap.

Is someone drinking without me?

cousin Luke and I stayed over this past Saturday at the cabin, and sweet bucket of shit it was cold.
The weights I put on my catfish line broke the ice on the lake when they hit allowing me to catch the bottom of the lake

I did get the burn barrel glowing red hot before I went down to the dock as I was a bit drinky and the water was freezing. Well, frozen actually. Just in case.

The best thing about the day was smelling the ham hocks, green beans and potatoes cook all day on the woodstove!

It's here. I knew it was coming, but it's finally here.

Winter.

Snow.

Cold winds.

Cold winds blowing up my pant leg.

Remember to wear thicker undies.

Toboggans at the ready.

One in the car, one at the office and several at home just to be sure.

No leaves on the trees.

Three days of cloudy skies.

Getting darker earlier.

I don't like being relegated to inside activities. At least I have a wood shop. And a wood stove.

And beer.

And more after that.

I know that our summers aren't like the south's, and our winters aren't like the north's, but you can have this cold weather crap.

Yes! It's 104 degrees again!

Fire don't care about how tough you think you are

No hospital run, but I do have the pattern of the handle of the grate that goes over the opening of the stove burned into my fingertips.



Mental note:

If the water on the top of the stove is boiling, the handle is most likely going to be hotter than a mo fo.

Maybe not. I'm sure as I am a scientist that this will need further testing.



Warning: Hot parts of this stove will make you screem like a little bitch.

Ah, Linda Cardellini...

I love Jesus, but not his birthday

You could see it coming. With the recession ramping up, you knew the stores were going to start beating the Christmas Season Horse. There was Christmas stuff in the store before there was Halloween candy.
The jim-dandy moment was today as I was on campus. There I was too-doo-doo-doodling along the sidewalk and I heard blaring from the speakers atop the clock tower that normally sound off as fake bells ringing out a bell tower muzak version of Little town of Bethlehem.

Wha-wha-wha? Did I Rip Van Winkle away a month here? Fucking shit, people- just because it got down to 38 deg last night doesn't mean that Christmas is next week, or the week after, or the week after that. I'm sure this is the only time that someone had the urge to shoot at a clock tower instead of from one.
And then I got to thinking(uh-oh): why only Christmas music? That's rather discriminatory, isn't it? How about "Monster Mash" at Halloween, or "My country tis of thee" for Thanksgiving,or Irish music in march, which would lead to Oompah music in October, and then Lee Greenwood around the 4th of July. Hold on, that would be grounds to shoot at the clock tower.

What I'm getting at is that maybe I'm getting old and crotchety, but sweet shit in a bucket- give me a break. I just got done listening to the names McCain and Obama for two years. Don't make me have to think of Christmas for two months straight. Besides, Easter is the big one. Anyone can be born. It's the raising from the dead portion that's important.

Best keep your damn eyes open

How much have you heard about Bush since the election? You know what kind of shit he pulled when we were paying attention, so what do you suppose big brother's up to now that mindfulness has transferred to Obama?

It's bad enough that he's going to pardon Rove, Cheney and himself at the end of his presidency, but what is he up to now?

In other news:

I was trying to cross Broadway the other day with the walk sign and completely legal when an SUV started to turn the corner quickly and then slowed down. The driver had the "fuck you immensely" look on her face and continued to turn. The thing was arm's length away, so I hauled back and punched the fucking truck and put a nice sized dent in the thing.

I'm glad she kept driving, because I was so pissed off that If she stopped and got out, it wasn't going to stop until the police got there.

This one's for you, T:

Well, you knew it was coming

After voting to keep Palin out of office this morning I saw what I knew was coming.

If I could've stopped laughing I was going to get Aunt Jemima and Flavor Flav's autographs.

In the last eighteen years of my voting past I could count on two hands how many black people I've seen at my voting location. One of them was in the line to vote Republican, so you knew that he was dropped on his head as a kid.

This morning there were two black people and about ten ghetto-ites coming in to vote. One of them even had on his dress Yankees hat and was, as always, smoking a black and mild.

I don't think that the old people at the voting place were ready for the level of laughter I let out.

You laugh at clowns, don't you?

2nd and Broadway is really killing my chi

Just when I thought that I had hit the lowest rung of the ladder, I had an interesting experience yesterday.
I walked across the street with my six bits to buy a Curious- Urinal. Clink, clink, clink, and violla- instant bathroom accompaniment.
As I was standing at the corner reading and waiting for the light to change, I hear behind me, "Hey- Little Man!"
Looking over my shoulder, it occurred to me that I was his target.
"What?," I asked very curtly.
"You got fiffy cent?"
"Nope. I had setty-fi, but I got dis paper," I replied without any accent so that it sounded even more stupid. I then turned again to reading.

"HEY, LITTLE MAN!," I heard again. Apparently this charm school flunky thinks that I should respond to his whims.
"WHAT, GODDAMMIT!," was the way I felt could calmly let this un-showered gentleman know that I was not interested in being his benefactor.
"You got a dollar so I can get a sausage biscuit?"
"I told you I wasn't giving you anything. Besides, it's after 10:30 and they're not serving breakfast anymore."

Apparently this dude's used to short, white people being pussies and I must have thrown him off a bit, because he moved his mouth like he wanted to say something, but no words came out.

Remember, if you think you're on the bottom rung, you can always get yelled at by a homeless dude.

Older doth not one dead make

Thank you to all those who wished me a happy birthday. The rest of you owe me a beer, and I ain't talkin' that champagne of beers shit.

Next up on the hit parade- finishing work on brother Darell's car. There's nothing more to love than putting in CV axles. And yes, that would mean the car is "reaxled."

I've never been a math wiz, but...

With it currently standing at fifty degrees and having rained most of the day, I would put the chances of having a fire meeting at the squaretunda at damn near 100%.

The chance of me burning my chin whiskers, however, is around 30%.



I have an interesting short story, but it ain't too PC